F*ck these N*ggas!!

It all started in Mrs. Holiday's kindergarten class when I met my first crush, Jamal January. Sure I was only five years old at the time but he had to be THE finest boy in all of my Elementary School. Since that moment there was always a guy that I thought I was head over heels for...scribbling their names on my notebooks, trying to figure out how to sit next to them at lunch, and begging my best friend to find out if he liked me. Ugh...16 years later nothing has really changed. At the age of 21 I'm still just as boy crazy as I was in middle school. Instead of scribbling their names on my notebooks, I'm constantly thinking about them. No more trying to sit next to them at lunch...I'm trying to find out where they are gonna be this weekend and how I can get there. And well...I guess I could still use my best friend to find out if they like me...but knowing her she would just tell them I like them instead. I'm friends with some really smart ladies...why is it that every time we get together we are dishing about boys. I mean we don't have to discuss economic policies or Russian literature...but do they have to DOMINATE all of our convos? After a decade and a half of liking boys...I'm so exhausted. The crushing, the constant texting (dear god the texting), the hating them,the disappointment, the heartbreak, then the loving them again. I really cant stand it anymore. Its like a part time effin job! You haven't lived until you have been on the phone with one guy, while texting two other guys, all while having a facebook chat with another. And its not just the single life that's exhausting...being in a relationship is equally as draining. Try writing a paper or completing a problem set while crying over your latest relationship woes. Try breaking up like every week for a month and them tell me how you feel at the end of it. I'm starting to see that so many girls let guys control their lives (including me). I've seen the most beautiful and intelligent girls reduced to a stuttering pile of mush over a guy. This by no means is to bash guys (I still freakin love the hell out of them) but perhaps a wake up call to all the girls in the world who obsess over them. Why do that when I'm sure guys are not doing the same thing over us? Yea I doubt dudes are waiting by their phone for you to text or call them. As girls I feel like we give of our emotions to easily. Last week I had a guy tell me that I made him feel like a girl because he was the one constantly trying to chill with me...and I acted like a guy because I had no emotions. Honestly, I think I'm just to tired to care...I've given away to much of myself to guys over the years. So now I'm at the point where I might join a nunnery...okay maybe I'll just take a break from them (let's not get crazy!). I'm just so mad that they make me like them! So in the immortal words of Weezy F. Baby...F*ck these N*ggas!!