Fakin' it til I make it...

Fashion rocks my freakin socks! Labels like Christian Louboutin, Alexander McQueen, Rodarte, Dior, and Gucci keep me up at night dreaming of fabulous shoes and handbags. Unfortunately, I'm a broke ass college student whose idea of fine dining is Applebees. *Sigh* One day I will be able to afford these things...but until then , I shall fake it til I make it. Shoes are my obsession and as such I notice the pattern that designers and stores go through. For example, hot new shoes hit the runway during fashion week. First you see them on celebrities, next comes the high end department stores like Neimans and Saks, then lower stores like Nordstroms. Then, companies like Steve Madden and Bebe make their own version of the shoe and finally...the shoe hits regular stores in the mall like Traffic (a place that I can actually afford). Yep..theres really no reason I need to shell out thousands of dollars for a shoe that in a couple of months I can purchase for less than 50 bucks. That's pretty much how I got my two favorite pairs of shoes ever...



These are Alexander McQueen's zippered peep toe booties. And they are gorgeous. Retail price: $1,155. If you know me...they look hella familar to you because I own a pair that look exactly like them. How much did they cost me? $40. Yep...I pretty much spent $1,115 less than the rich people who can actually afford these shoes did.




And that's me in my bathroom wearing gross basketball shorts modeling my awesome shoes. They are perfect replicas and I didn't even have to sell one of my kidneys on the black market like I planned to when I first saw these shoes. Go me!



These are the Christian Dior Extreme Cutout Sandals. They really should look familiar to you because two years ago these beautiful shoes appeared in the Sex and the City movie...twice. And they single handedly sparked the gladiator shoe movement that will probably never go away. When I saw them I had a fashion orgasm and then immediately went home and googled them. Retail price $770.



Once again...me in my gross bathroom showing my shoes. How much did I pay for them? $45. I remember when I first saw them...I stopped immediately and started screaming in the middle of the mall. Yep...shoes do that to me...I can't help it.

One day I will be able to afford the real thing instead of just drooling over the red bottoms of a pair of Louboutins.(Currently dying for the leopard print peep toe bananas) Fashion isn't just for the wealthy...the most creative people can work with what they have...or what they don't have.

Blame it on the A-aaa-aalcohol?

So as college lady (of legal age) who attends the number one party school in the nation (GO GATORS!)...lets just say I know my way around a liquor store...bar...keg...hell I could prolly brew some damn moonshine if I tried. Epic drunkenness is no stranger to me...seriously, safely hidden away somewhere are some apparently really lol-worthy videos of me crying with my head in the toilet. But besides that very hazy night that included me sleeping on my bathroom floor...I have a pretty clean record of not doing anything really dumb while intoxicated. But its coming to my attention that maybe alcohol doesn't make us do dumb sh*t...perhaps alcohol is just the excuse we use to do the really dumb sh*t that we wouldn't normally do while sober. Okay hear me out. Yes...I am well aware that alcohol does have some physical/mental affects on you...tripping over the curb is not something I normally do while sober (ok thts a lie but u get my point).But can being drunk REALLY make you cheat on your bf/gf, hook up with your TA, or slap that b*tch in the face for spilling your blue long island? I tend to lean towards the answer of no. Maybe we are more likely to do these things because we can hide behind the excuse of "dude I was sooo trashed last night." I can honestly say that I have used alcohol as an excuse to do things like text someone I shouldn't be texting, make out with randos, dance on numerous stripper poles...and even give a slightly inappropriate lap dance. But in the light of day I know that I didn't do these things BECAUSE I was drinking. I've seen many a girl have one drink and I know that hoe is not drunk...yet she is sketchily making out with a guy in the corner. We can't judge her right? She's drunk. Your best friend calls you a whore...can't stay mad in the morning...she was wasted right? That guy grabs your ass in the club...just let it go girl...that dude is schwasted! But when do we stop blamin' what we sippin' and start taking responsibility for our "drunken" actions? Yea...its like an unsolvable riddle. I'm sure at some point of drinking you do just get really f*cked up and make bad decisions...but I haven't been there. When I drink I can reason, weigh the pros and cons of a situation...and if I do some dumb sh*t I know its my fault...and chances are I wanted to do it. The "I was drunk" excuse is weak and overused and frankly I'm tired of hearing it. So man up, grow some balls...and stop blaming it on the A-aaa-aalcohol! (I hate u Jamie for that song btw)

You might be a GBC if...

If you are like me, you and your closest friends have about a million inside jokes. Yep...its like sometimes you are speaking another language because in between hysterical laughter and trying to catch your breath you are shouting out random quotes and phrases. Well since for ever, me and my homie have made up nicknames for our crushes, people we hate, and of course acronyms to say things in public that we might get slapped for. So today I am here to share with you one of our beloved acronyms...the GBC. And what does GBC stand for you ask? Calm down I'm gonna tell you...it stands for "Ghetto Black Chick" That's right class...while living in Gainesville we had to come up with something to describe the foolishness that goes on at the mall, at the movies, and basically any place two feet away from our campus. Pay attention class because today is a very important lesson...a GBC cannot be defined in one sentence...these are complex creatures. They do not even necessarily have to be black..or from the ghetto...but there are a specific set of qualities they possess. Follow me into the wild for a second. You might be a GBC if...

1. If at any point in time your ring tone was "Bust it Baby" by Plies. Scratch that...if you have ever had a Plies song as your ring tone period.

2. If at anytime in the last 5 years you owned or rocked a pair of pink timberlands loud and proud.

3.If you own a baby phat shirt, baby phat jeans, baby phat earrings, the baby phat bomber jacket, and the baby phat belt, and you thought it was a good idea to wear them all together..at the same time....with matching nikes.

4. If you go to the nail salon and you leave with nails so long that they curve at the bottom...and you did the sh*t on purpose.

5. If you have ever purchased your hair and a plate of Chinese food from the same location.

6. If you have 3 or more kids by the same man, have been together for over 10 years, you live together, and share bills...but you are "waiting on the right time to get married"

7. If you are 200+ pounds and have purchased an extra small tube top.

8. If you do hair, babysit, and sell mix tapes from your house.

9.If you have ever been fired from your job for cursing out a customer, fellow employee, or manager.

10. If you have ever bought an outfit from the mall, stuffed your gross ass into it, rocked it at the club, then tried to return it the next day complete with unidentifiable scent and cigarette burns talkin about it didn't fit right.

11. If you got kicked out of your prom because your dress was deemed "inappropriate" aka that shit had so many cut outs it was barely a dress anymore.

12. If you lost your virginity in the back of a Monte Carlo, Impala, or Cadillac.

13. If you own a gold grill...add extra points if you purchased it from the flea market.

14. If you have three or more colors in your hair at one time i.e. bright red, blue, pink, green etc. Extra points if you've used yarn in your hair as a replacement for weave.

15. If you have ever seriously referred to a guy that you went on a date with as your "future baby daddy"

16. If your name is Keisha.

17. If you have a son who everybody calls Lil Man Man. He only wears a diaper...never any clothes and his nose is always running...even in the dead middle of summer.

18. If you have ever truly "bust the windows out his car"

19. If you have a tattoo of a rose with vines in any of the following locations: thigh, calf, upper arm, or right breast.

20. If your name on face book looks similar to the following: Shaniqua Imthebaddestbitchinda305 Jackson or Tiffany FineAss Jenkins or even Keisha Illtakeyoman Jefferson.

This by no means is an exhaustive list of GBC qualities. But best believe you will know a GBC when you see one. These girls are my entertainment...and well we all have a little GBC in us. (Oh Trust...I will curse you out in public...no problem.) This has been a GPSA (Ghetto Public Service Announcement)

Computer Love

Okay baby...here me out for one sec. I know we've had our ups and downs...like that one time I threatened to throw you out the window or the numerous times I've called you a worthless piece of sh*t and I'm sorry. And I know I almost cheated on you with that Mac, but it was when you were trippin' again...and I was lonely and the Mac was there for me. I mean, we only held hands but I could see that it really hurt you. So many times I've threatened to replace you, but the truth is... you were my first...and I love you. These past few days without you have really made me appreciate you and now I know that I can't live without you. Maybe I haven't been the best towards you either. I haven't always given you what you needed, but sometimes it felt like you were speaking a whole other language.(Wtf does defragg your hard drive mean?) So let's forget about all the bad things. Let's remember all the good times...all the movies we've watched together, the facebook profiles we've stalked, and oh how we laughed and laughed at the YouTube videos! *Sigh* See...this is why you mean the world to me and I'm glad you are back underneath my fingers. I even missed that little sound you always make when I turn you on *blushes* I know I always say that you are a crappy computer...but you are MY crappy computer!!

Silly Boys...

This past semester was the first time I'd ever been single in college (I know...who does that?) And about halfway through...fate happened and the whole crew became unattached. It was like magic (or a low budget Sex and the City). Either way...my favorite past time soon became discussing the different boys each of my friends were talking to at the moment. Of course we had to share what they said, and what they meant by it, and even share the occasional lol worthy texts they sent us. But out of all the boys we've added to our contact lists this semester(still trying to figure out who "koolie" is)...there are a few that I'm sure each and every college girl has in common with us. These are the boys that all of us meet and have similar experiences with...in no particular order of course.

"King of the Frat"

Chances are that you knew of or about this dude before you were ever formally introduced to him (he's just that popular). This is the type of guy who has about 31,000+ facebook friends, all of his profile pictures are of him and the "bruhs" throwin it up and all of his facebook statuses are about different Frat events. Yes...he is like the president of blah phi whatever and he's pretty confident that he's the sh*t. So one drunken night you some how exchange numbers...and chances are your texts will sound somethin like this:

Fratty: Hey
You: Hi
Fratty: Sup?
You: nothin much
Fratty: cool
Yep...this will continue forever because he's so awesome that he doesn't have to be interesting or original. So many girls throw themselves at him...he doesn't even know what it means to work for it anymore. So why do you keep this dude on your roster...so he can text you about all the dope after parties! Duh!

"The Nice Guy"

C'mon...ever girl in the world has this dude in her life. He's so sweet. He actually wants to take you out to eat somewhere with waiters and no drive thru and instead of telling you to come over to "watch" a movie...he wants to pay for your ticket to see it in theaters. He cares all about how your day went, your favorite color and how you did on your midterms. He likes the same things as you and you wake up every morning to a text from him telling you how beautiful/gorgeous/amazing you are. *Sigh* He's like the perfect boyfriend material...except for that fact that not one bone in your body is physically attracted to him. You try sooo hard to like him because you know he's whats good for you...but King of the Frat is soo much hotter! Its horrible...but every time you think about kissing him...you throw up in your mouth a little. You wish he could be like your best friend...but you know in your heart that he wants to bone you. If life were perfect...he'd be hotter/taller/cooler.

"The Baller"

Yea...so this guy plays on the basketball/football team and he's tall and sexy ( my favorite). But beware...if you thought Fratty was horrible...the baller is like him on steroids. Often times he is so boring that holding a conversation with him is literally painful. Or he is so cocky that all he wants to talk about is how awesome that last pass he caught was. Groupies line up for blocks to talk to this dude...but somehow he licked his lips at you in a sweaty overcrowded club and numbers were exchanged. Then the completely pointless conversation begins. "Ay girl...when I'm gonna see you again" (yes he has bad grammar too) Yea...theres really no point in even entertaining a guy like this. You are just one of the many chicks he's trying to get on his team. And if he's like the ballers at my school...he likes a white girl with breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

"Mr. Foward"

So you met a guy you thought was a cutie at [insert random club name here]. He was nice, a good dancer...and boy did he smell Delicious. But little did you know that this nigga right here was crazy. He texts you everyday, all the time, and won't stop asking you to hang out. All you really want to say is nigga hop off! But he's cute so you find his persistence refreshing...at first. Next thing you know..you open your phone to a naked pic of this dude and then you're like wtf? How did we skip from hello how are you to your junk plastered all over my sidekick? This is when you stop texting buddy and try your hardest to dodge him on campus. Once again you enlist yourself in "Operation do not give out your number" which always seems to fail after a few vodka and sprites.

"The Drunken Mistake"

I mean we've all had those nights when you get so incredibly drunk you do stupid sh*t. I mean...except for me because I'm an angel. Anwhoo...yes its ladies night and the drinks are free...til 1 am atleast. And you've gone to the bar to get a refill on your incredibly watered down vodka/rum and random juice at least...7, 8, or 12 times. You are officially schwasted. Then some rando starts dancing behind you...and what do you care...lets dance! After 4 songs of dancing with this guy he asks for your number and you oblige. Approximately 3 days later you get a text like "whats good ma?" from a number you don't know and when it finally clicks who it is...you text the homie to ask if they were cute or not. Yep...they weren't...the homie tried to tell you but you just didn't listen. So now the next two weeks is spent making up random excuses (my cat is sick..when you don't even have a cat) to not hang out with this dude. He's the reason why you jump every time your phone vibrates or every time some one taps you on the shoulder.

This semester has been hilarious as far as boys are concerned. I wonder if they know that so much of our time is spent laughing at their antics. No matter how crazy they act...I love these silly boys!

Crank that...WTF?

I am clearly not the biggest fan of Soulja Boy...he is kind of the most garbage rapper ever. And these days that fool is lookin like a low budget Lil Wayne with all them damn tats (why the eff would you get a neck tat?) But anywhoo...since that insanely catchy tune "Crank that Soulja Boy" came out, people have decided that it is fantastic idea to make up a song and accompanying dance i.e. Do the Stanky Leg and/or the Halle Berry. Well due to my You Tube creeping I found some lesser know dances/songs that just made me stare at my computer screen like WTF? There was even a dance called Crank that Jesus. I did not dare click on that and be struck down. Now everybody is in the club, jookin and jivin, wiggin and stickin...and I just can't take it. Of course I'm gonna tell u the worst of the worst of these so called dances. Prepare for the shenanigans...

"Pooch Yae"



So I get a text from the homie like "Have you heard of the Pooch Yae?" My initial response was "Excuse me...the what?" Apparently her little brother and sister were doing this dance and she just thought it was hilarious. So of course I YouTube this shiz...and wow is it dumb. I really dont think little girls should be shakin it like that...but whatever floats your boat. Oh the world we live in...

"Bennie Biggle Wiggle"



So of course I hear about this dance from my little sister. She always knows what the kids are doing these days. I must say that this is perhaps the ugliest dance I've ever seen...with perhaps the dumbest name. I searched YouTube high and low looking for a decent video and then I realized...all the videos looked bad because the dance was just hideous. I wish I would see a nigga in the club doin this here...

"My Dougie"



Yea...I'm not gonna lie...it took me a hot minute to even figure out what a Dougie was (damn I'm getting old). But when I did learn what it was, my first question was "Why would you make a dance up about a hairstyle?" Yay...there's no explaining this dance. But is it bad that I kind of like this song? Yeah...I know...I take that back.

"Crank dat Fundip"



Umm...I don't even know what to say about this. I mean...I like fun dip...its quite tasty but this is just really dumb. And wtf is the girl on the right wearing. Girl...leave a little something to the imagination sweetie...geeze. Why did everybody decide to make dances beginning with Crank that. While researching for this particular post I found...Crank that whatcha call it, yank, spiderman, spongebob, roadrunner and even crank that homeless man. This is too out of control. I can't...

There are so many more dances out there and frankly...I just can't even look at this foolishness anymore. I'm considering making my own dance up. I think I'll call it Crank that...WTF?

Unthinkable (I'm Ready)...

Music Code Provided by MusicVideolife.com

I am not the biggest fan of Alicia Keys...like at all. But there is something about this song that really got me. I'm such a sucker for a good love song...its sick. So the video just came out (the version of the song without my boo Drake). Its a pretty racially charged video. It features Chad Micheal Murray (a former crush of mine)and maybe I had a tiny little tear in my eye at the end.

Ghetto names...

So I'm not quite sure whether or not I should be offended or what...but I laughed at this video against my better judgment. You have to admit...these names are getting out of control.

Too grown...

In a little less than a month my little sister (who everyone thinks is older than me) will be graduating from high school. I'm excited for her...but not for that long ass ceremony I'm gonna have to sleep...I mean sit through. I'm also not very excited to be sitting in a room full of high school kids...because they literally make me want to barf. I see them in the mall, at the movies, and when I go out to eat...and every time I wonder to myself...was I this annoying when I was 17? Kids these days are just waayyy too grown for their own good. The stories I hear about what kids are doing these days from my sister are just astounding! When I was a senior in high school...a typical weekend might be going to the mall, someones house, or the movies and making fun of people and joking around. The kids these days are throwing hotel parties and drinking, smoking, and hooking up with each other AND going to strip clubs! I'm a grown ass woman and I've never been to a strip club. Am I being naive here...or were me and my friends just extraordinarily dorky in high school? I wish I would ask my parents if I could go to South Beach to hang out with my friends in a hotel. I had to beg just to go to my damn Homecoming dance. And when I finally did convince them I literally had to give them the freakin' latitude and longitude of the place I was going to, as well as the height, weight and social security number of everyone who would be in attendance. I didn't even start drinking until I was 20 (believe me I've made up for lost time though)and some kids are making this an every weekend occurrence. Last summer I worked with a few high school seniors and the sh*t they did/talked about shocked me. I mean...why would you brag about going to homeroom drunk and/or high. These kids changed relationships as often as most people change underwear. And these weren't the type of relationships I had in high school...the hold hands, lets get ice cream and a movie, omg we kissed how cute type of relationships. These kids were gettin it in and discussing it openly. Kids grow up way to fast and its scaring me. Why the eff did I see a little girl texting on her G1 the other day. Girl...what are you texting about...the newest episode of Hannah Montana? And not only are they acting grown...but they are looking grown as hell. I'll be damned if I haven't been fooled by many a freshman this past year. You are fresh out of high school...why do you look like a grown ass man. Oh no! I can't talk to you any more...please give me my number back. Thank You. I guess I'm getting older because I'm starting to sound like my parents. Damn...next thing you know I'm gonna be walking around telling people to pull their pants up. Shame. Someone should tell these kids being a grown up comes with grown up problems...

Find your love...

So the new Drake video is out. I must say that I was seriously starting to doubt his video making skills. The "Best I Ever Had" video was a hot mess and the "Over" video just left me like wtf was that about. But this video is fiyah hott! However, I'm choosing to ignore who the leading lady is. And of course I like that its shot in Jamaica because I am Jamaican by association =)

Good Girl Gone Bad?

Being a girl is tough. We have to shave/wax/pluck practically every inch of our bodies for boys who rarely appreciate it, fit into the tightest clothes and tallest heels, we get paid less and have a harder time climbing the corporate ladder. And on top of that, one day go we will go through the excruciating pain of birthing a bowling ball sized human being. F*ck...this sh*t is exhausting!! And a recent conversation with two of the homies (one a guy, the other a girl) also got me thinking about another way that all the women in the world have it hard. After the demise of a three year relationship I find myself single (and loving it) and the thought of having another boyfriend anytime soon usually results in a stank face or a dry heave from me. So the problem for many ladies like muah becomes whether or not to hook up with random guys and possibly be labeled a "shone" or to enter the dreaded world of relationshipdom...again. Obviously for a guy...the answer is simple...but for us ladies it the sharpest double edged sword. Everyday of my new single life I find it harder and harder to resist the urge to completely ditch the good girl persona...and well be bad...very very bad(You boys make it so easy). I was always the main person to condemn girls who slept around...but what's a girl to do when a having a boyfriend isn't an option. Should we sleep alone every night? Ugh...the thought of that is depressing as hell. Why is it that casual sex for guys is normal...but for girls...it perhaps the worst thing she can do to herself? Guys will condemn her...and so will other girls *guilty face* Maybe that's what being single is about...trying to find a healthy balance between being a complete and total slore and being frigid and miserable. This double standard isn't anything new...but its new to me because I've never had to really deal with it before. Yea...being a girl is tough...but being a good girl is hard as f*ck.

2010: The Year of the Jumpoff

Something is taking over the world....and I'm scared. I'm really considering building bomb shelter and stocking up on canned goods and water until this horrible epidemic passes. Remember the bird flu...the swine flu? Well something way worst has gripped the men of the world. Symptoms include: cheating on your wife/girlfriend with multiple different women, sleeping with/wifing up strippers, prostitutes, or video "vixens", and just general douche-baggery. Those who have been affected include the worst case...Tiger Woods, Jesse James, David Letterman, Larry King, Drake, Mario, Reggie Bush and about 97% of pro athletes. But the alarming part is not that these men are cheating...or even the sheer amount of women they cheat with (Tiger), but rather who they are cheating with. Jump offs. What is a jump off u ask. Well according to my ghetto dictionary...

jump off: n. 1.A sexual partner who is more than a one-night stand but with whom one does not intend to form a long-term romantic relationship 2. a promiscuous woman. 3.a woman who engages in sex with a public figure that is clearly attached.

These women just keep getting bolder and bolder by the minute. They want to go all over TV and radio shows and cry about they got hurt when they are the hoes that are sleeping with married/taken/engaged men. Perfect example...KAT STACKS.If you don't know who she is please google this chick. She is putting rappers on blasty blast in the worst way. I mean..when exactly did it become okay to have a "main" chick and one or more side pieces. This has been on my mind for a minute...

On a similar note...what is with dudes wifing up chicks that are clearly jumpoff material. Excuse me for one second while I go the eff in on Aubrey "Drake" Graham. Really boo? Maliah Micheals? *blank stare* Looks like Drizzy took T-Pains "I'm in love with a stripper" to that next next level. Her most famous quality is the fact that she takes photos with stripper poles between her ass cheeks. I mean...c'mon Drizzy...get it together. This aint even the hate talkin..cuz you know I love some Drake...but this relationship is too disrespectful. If dudes keep wifing up ex strippers, escorts and hoes what happens to all the good girls? Will we be forced to booty clap on camera to land a good man? Geez I hope not...because that is not a talent that I possess. Am I perfect wifey material? Probably not...we all have our dirt but I am not a stripper, prostitute or skeeze. This shiz is getting out of hand...and I felt the need to speak on it. I used to always think that sure...guys date the freaky girls but eventually settle down with a classy lady. 2010 has officially ruined that philosophy for me. Whats a girl to do? *enrolls in Stripping 101*

I love Boys...

I'm honestly not sure if I can choose which of the following three things dominate my mind the most : fashion, music or boys. The way that I feel when I listen to my favorite song is similar to the way I felt when I first saw the bronze Gucci platforms from last season and the way I feel when I see a gorgeous boy. Its a heart stopping, I can't breath, dizzy, and ridiculously happy feeling. But some boys make me consider deleting all my music and never shopping again if only I could have them. Yes...they are that amazing. And of course I'm going to tell u who they are...in no particular order.

Tremaine "Trey Songz" Neverson



OH...EMM...GEEE! *fans self* There is something about him that literally melts me inside. I will admit that when he came out I was like who is that skinny ass dude with these whack braids ( I HATE braids on guys...you are not a 12 year old girl sir). But I can remember the exact moment that I fell in love with this dude. It was halfway through the Last Time video...when he was standing in the elevator lookin' all kinds of sexy. He had cut his hair and hit the gym...hard. Ya girl almost passed out...and since then he has been number one on my list. Not to mention that his voice is delicious and I LOVE his music. I find his talent just as sexy as his perfect teeth and chiseled abs. Yes I did watch the invented sex video 278489391 times *clutches pearls* And yes I was hella jealous of the lead girl in that video. I've always been anti-Ice in the bed...but Trey made me want to try some new things. Let me stop talkin about this before I have to go watch that damn video again...OH Tremaine!

Aubrey "Drizzy Drake" Graham



I mean...I feel like alot of chicks are tryin me by saying they are Drake's number one fan. Excuse you ma'am, but I have been watching Degrassi since I was in middle school and I had a crush on Aubrey (yes Aubrey) since I was like 11 years old. I even liked him when he had that little curly baby fro and no tape line. This dude is toooo fine to me...and that deep voice of his is mmm mmm...good. Once again...I'm attracted to his talent as well as his looks. When I heard him on the For My Town chorus...I had to wipe the drool off my chin cuz that voice does some magical sh*t to me. Drake you know you are too special to be on this list because light skinned boys usually aren't my cup-o-tea and you are border-line white AND you dropped out of high school...smh. But damn are you tall and fine. I'm waiting for some shirtless photos of you...seriously...been waiting.

Marion "Pooch" Hall Jr.



Out of all the people that will make this list...Pooch is the only one that I would want to marry. Lets forget for one second that this dude already has a wife...and kids and travel on a journey with me. *cue dream sequence* Imagine waking up every morning to that face...and although the picture I provided of him is fully clothed...please believe that this dudes body is BANANAS! And he has the one thing that I value more than looks and talent...intelligence. Yes...he graduated from Dartmouth *swoons* There is nothing like a smart man to make a girl forget her morals. Believe me...I know. I've already compromised myself once just to see your sexy self. I will never forget the day that I braved the ghettoness and tom-foolery that is Venue Nightclub just to get a glimpse of you. If thats not love I don't know what is. If you know me...you know that The Game is like my FAV show...and of course Derwin Davis is my FAV character..even though he did Melanie sooo wrong. But I can see why she took him back...look at him!! Damn me and my morals...cuz I would pull a Gabby and wreck that Union.

Jesse Williams



I know I'm the first one hollering about how light skinned boys are out of style...but Jesse Wiliams is a gorgeous human being. After forever of not watching Grey's Anatomy I decided to crank up the old DVR and catch up. And boy did I miss alot! They added an entire new character (Jesse of course) and that show has never been more interesting than at that moment. Then I saw him in the movie Brooklyn's Finest and nearly lost my marbles (mind you while sitting next to my then boyfriend). I had to apologize for my outburst and concentrate on paying attention to the plot. Luckily he wasn't a main character because I would have never made it through that movie. What can I say about him...those eyes...that face. Its enough to make a girl turn psycho stalker. Yes...I still have the fashion spread he did in Cosmo...and yes...I still look at those photos. Can you blame me?

Idrissa "Idris" Akuna Elba



You know how some people have some very specific and strange traits that they are attracted to? Well for me...its tall, dark, and fine African men with British accents. Yes Idris is all of those things. He grew up in London and his parents are Sierra Leonean and Ghanaian. When I first heard that sexy accent I was shocked! I already loved him because he was tall, dark, and sexy...but then he spoke and my jaw dropped! Every random characteristic that I liked that I never thought I would find...it was all there. To top it all off...he is a freakin DJ! I think someone is messing with my head..he is toooo perfect. He was also the only good thing about the movie Obsessed (hot mess). He is a fantastic actor and any movie that he is in...I will be first in line to see. MMMmmmm..he is such a delicious grown man...I can't even stand it. He could teach me a few things...

President Barack Obama



So this is probably highly inappropriate...but I have a massive crush on the President of the United States of America. Sure he is like the same age as my dad...but I think his gray hair makes him look distinguished...oh and dead sexy! How could you not be attracted to one of the most powerful men in the world...so eloquent and well spoken with a gorgeous set of teeth. Come on! He's a Harvard Law grad...and he wears suits all the time. I'm sorry Michelle, I love you (and your fashion sense) but I want your husband. Man...maybe I should look into interning at the White House...

Oh no u did not just do tht...

So in my infamous youtube creeping ( when I should be studying or doing something else significant) I was introduced to an awesome video. Its kind of old news now...but I legit laugh EVERY single time I watch. 1. Its hilarious 2. I'm dying for a GBF (gay best friend)and 3. There is just some sh*t in this world that I just cant stand. So kingsley ur extreme fierce and fabness has inspired me to talk about some of the things that I dislike and some things that p*ss me the eff off. Again...in no particular order.

1. Nicki Minaj: Oh Nicki aka slutty Barbie aka who the eff talks like tht aka is that ur real ass? I mean I try soooo hard not to be a hater. But I'll admit sometimes I have to take a good look in the mirror and be like...girl stop hatin! With that said Nicki Minaj...everything about u urks me. Especially that time u were on 106 and park with a green wig, white dress, and nude Valentino boots lookin like u missed the casting for the part of the slutty Oompa Loompa in a Wizard of OZ porno.

2. Dudes who always callin chicks ugly or busted and stay talkin about they lookin for a dime (that's top of the line, cute face, slim waist and a big behind) when they barely a 6 1/2. Yo son...get ur mathematics right. The only reason Weezy smashed/knocked up Lauren London is because he is a rapper! In real life that does not happen...unless u just have extraordinary swag.

3. On a similar note...chicks talkin about how they need a good man with money, good credit and a Beamer Benz AND Bentley when they got 10 kids and 11 baby daddies flippin burgers at Wendy's. Ladies and gentlemen...know your worth. U attract people who are similar to u. Life is not a TI video...and u are not the girl taking orders at the cash register.

4. Chicks who say sh*t like "Step ur cookies up" or "I'm the baddest b*tch" Im not even gonna explain that. Just know it makes me mad.

5.When boys try to holla at me during inappropriate times...like at Walmart..when im with my father.

6.Dudes/girls who swear they are hard/ghetto/the realest when the grew up in suburbia and they have a chandelier in their house. U can not claim to be ghetto if u have a foyer in your crib. Period.

7. Nappy weaves/lace fronts- oh please. I have never personally worn a weave...but i think I would know better than to buy SYNTHETIC hair...does that even sound right?

8.People who try to have a convo with me over text but they only text me every 3 hours. I dont even remember the last thing you said to me. THATS why i stopped texting your ass!

9. 10 inch long nails (sorry grandma) with a different design on every finger. Like really...I know you are Jamaican...u do not need to have the flag painted on your finger nails boo.

10. Boys who say : I'm not like those other guys...I just want to get to know you. I mean...I could believe u if i didn't meet u in club where u just tried to grope me.

11. Dudes who think that licking their lips is sexy. U are not LL sweetie. And that just makes ur lips chapped. Yuck!

12.PETA...I wish u would pour paint on my mink. Cuz if im rockin a mink best believe I have enough cash to be bailed out of jail after i whoop ur ass!

13.People who think its cool to post half naked photos on their facebook/twitter/myspace etc. I mean...I could have lived the rest of my life without seeing you ass naked except for some strategically placed bubbles.

14. Boys who brag...and then disappoint. Nuff said.

15.Celebrities that swear that they are still relevant. Like really Kevin Federline...u thought they were gonna let u in the club bc u got Britney preggo like 100 yrs ago. "Do you know who I am?" Um..nope.

16. People that are waayyy too cheerful in the morning. You are def hiding something...a cocaine addiction perhaps?

17. When my parents scream my name and make me come all the way down the stairs to change the channel cuz they lost the remote. That is too disrespectful.

18. When people ask me if my hair is real..and then proceed to touch my head in search of tracks. RUUDDDEEE!!!

19. When I meet a fine boy..talk to him all night...then he takes his hat off and I'm like damn baby! Tht fitted was helpin you more than I thought.

20. When people get mad they failed a test and I saw them the night before getting schwasty at the Grog on Ladies night. Hungover test taking rarely results in an A babe.

smh...

So...I am an intense lover of music. I listen to my mp3 player about a 1000 times more than I watch TV...or even study...or work...or anything else important that I should probably be doing while I'm listening to music. In fact...as I type this my headphones are in my ear. Because I listen to so much music I'm constantly on the lookout for new bands, singers, rappers etc. And every now and then I stumble upon a song that I cant get out of my head and that I absolutely love listening to...unfortunately, I'm so embarrassed to like it that I can only listen to it in the privacy of my own room...with my headphones on, in a fake mustache and glasses...while speaking in an accent. Don't look at me like that...you know you are guilty of it too...don't play. To demonstrate, I decided to list the songs that I'm so ashamed to love...in no particular order.

Sponsor- Teairra Mari



Okay...so i pride my self on being a very classy lady...and the lyrics to this song are just a hot damn mess. So much so...that BET thought that it was sending a bad message to young girls and they temporarily banned it. (I'll go in on the hypocriticalness of BET later). How can I as a self respecting woman dance to the lyrics " Anything I ask for from my sponsor he go buy buy buy" Not to mention the fact that this song features GUCCI MANE AND SOULJA BOY...the two biggest stereotypes I've ever laid eyes on. This chick legit is braggin about how she got some dude buying her weave! If that's not the most...lawd a mercy. When my friend found out that I liked this song...she almost made me walk home...at 4am. It would seem that this song would have been doomed from the start...but why the eff cant i get it out my head!! Smh...


Gucci Mane-Lemonade



The reason I am embarrassed to like this song is pretty self explanatory if you just listen to the damn song. I mean...I clearly remember riding in the car with the homie and this song came on the radio. We seriously just stared at each other in disbelief that this song was even serious. I mean "lemon pepper wings with the freeze cup" WTF is that? I could literally go in on this all day as there is alot of foolishness all up in through this song and video. But ill be damned if I cant rap every single verse when this song comes on in the club! Smh...

Justin Bieber- Baby Baby Baby



Okay..Justin Beiber is a 16 year old white boy who somehow has defied the laws of nature and not gone through puberty yet. He looks like he is 11 yrs old. But this little boy is just so damn catchy. True...my crush on him could get me locked up...but whatever. And check the dance moves in the video son! I was like word Beiber...get it boo!I clearly am not confident enough in my blackness to admit that I like this song...so until then I gotta switch my mp3 player to a Weezy song when someone I know walks by. IM GOIN IN! Smh...

O lets do it- Wacka Flocka Flame



I'm not gonna lie...this song got a bangin beat...and after a few shots and a four loko...this becomes my jam! But honestly...I'm embarrassed that every time I'm about to go out with the girls I say "o lets do it" The lyrics to this song are just a huge mess...and the budget for this video is legit like $5. And excuse me sir...what exactly is "drug dealing music"? Besides the extreme shenanigans of this song...wtf is a wacka flocka flame?! Lawd...I can even take this dude. Why must I grind to this song every time i go out? Smh...

Lil Wayne-Pop tha P*ssy



So...if u know me, you have to know that im a big Weezy fan and the No Ceilings mixtape is on heavy rotation in my life. And I know he says some ignorant/niggerish sh*t sometimes..but he says it so good. But when I heard this song for the first time (also while in the car) I was like wtf weezy? U want me to pop my what...and shake my who...oh no thank you. U are so nasty. But then...i heard it again...and it made me want to pop it...and shake it...so i did. And now I like the damn song despite the fact it has my LEAST favorite word in the title. I almost threw up in my mouth when I had to type it just now. Damn you Weezy! I'm a lady...i shouldnt like this! And I freakin HATE Birdman...so i should really despise this song. I just gotta make sure my headphones are on extra low when I'm riding the 20 to campus while listening to this. Smh...

And so it begins...

Creating a blog as been something I've been meaning to do for like ever! I mean...I read quite a few blogs religiously...why wouldn't I have my own. I used to think that they were a little bit egotistical...like who the eff are u that everyone needs to know what you think/have to say about anything. But even if no one reads this but me...I'm glad I'm starting it. I'm so excited because I always have a lot to say about everything especially my favorite topics : music, fashion, boys...and the really dumb sh*t that people do everyday. And so the randomness that is my mind begins...