Obviously I haven't blogged in forever...school is ruining my life. But I just had to take time out of my busy schedule of exams, homework, volunteering, working, and being completely and utterly drunk to address a VERY serious issue. And as you could have guessed by my lovely title...its about cheatin ass cheaters. You know...the guys who think we are too dumb or to socially retarded to figure that while they are texting us things that could make a porn star blush...they got a angry ass girl at home. Yea...you n*gga. I'm talking to you...and your friend over there too. Silly boys...you didn't think we knew about ALL your little tricks did you? Girls are smart...we know how to investigate the sh*t out of you. I knew a girl who found out her boyfriend was cheating on her by googling his ass. And of course he wasn't smart enough to hide the evidence. But even when they think they are being smart...covering their muddy little paw prints...we STILL catch them.
Exhibit A: The boy you thought was such a nice guy. He likes what you like, thinks you are pretty and actually calls you between the hours of 8am and 8pm. You are even facebook friends with him. So he cant have girlfriend right...it would totally say it on his facebook page right? Right? Dead ass wrong. Thanks to the awesome/fantastic/wonderful privacy settings on facebook, you can be on limited profile without even knowing about it. So every time you look at his page you see exactly what he wants you to see. The I love you wall posts from his psycho girlfriend don't exist to you and his relationship status is a hidden mystery. But every time his girl looks at his page she sees that "in a relationship with" and continues knitting blue socks for their future children that they've decided will be twins who play football. Sounds like a cheaters dream right? Of course a guy would find a way to mess it up. Yea you put me on limited...but what about my home girl from third grade and my other girl from Physics class. Yea...you just got told on...
I really wish that guys could figure out that although we don't want to be...girls are f*cking stalkers. You think you can hide things from us...but all I really need is your first and last name. I'll find out all I need to know about you in a split second. I will find your facebook, twitter, myspace (who does that tho), four square, linkedin, your favorite color, your blood type and any and everything about you. Its the world we live in and unfortunately its a necessity these days. So that girl who is always commenting on your page, that girl you say is your best friend, that other girl who has a "crush" on you, and that girl who is in the background of profile picture 75 of 160...yea...i know that's your girlfriend. But don't worry...your secret is safe with me... you cheatin ass cheater.
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