I'm a firm believer that all girls are crazy. Every single one of them...absolutely insane. And the prettier they are, the more psycho they are. Even though I like to believe with all my heart that I'm one of those calm, laid back non Jasmine Sullivan I'll bust the windows out yo car type of chicks that all guys dream about...the reality is, I'm just as crazy as the rest of them. I HAVE been brought to the point of almost throwing a brick through a window shield. Now before you give me the stank face for turning my back on my own gender and revealing our (worst kept) secret, hear me out. You know that really crazy girl who's super jealous of any girl her boyfriend (or if she's extra crazy, the guy she's hooking up with) talks to? Yea, u know...the one who goes through her dude's cell phone, puts the black light to his sheets and basically inspector gadgets the hell out of his life...she was probably cheated on at some point in her life. Chances are she wasn't always crazy, she could have been a real nice girl...back in the day...before she met...Tyrone. Yes I said Tyrone...it just sounds like a really douchey name which is useful for the purposes of this post. Don't judge me. Anyway...this girl was probably really trusting and she gave Tyrone her heart...among other things. AND THEN...she found out Tyrone was gettin it in with some Becky down the street and now is unable to trust men again..and for sure hates every white girl in the world. Sounds like a story we've all heard before. Poor girl, she used to date Tyrone and now her ass is crazy. But have we ever really thought about what happened to Tyrone, who he used to date? What if before the crazy girl, Tyrone used to date...Bonquisha (that doesn't even sound like a name you can trust does it?). Bonquisha was Tyrone's first love. Despite her unfortunate name he was crazy about her. He treated her right, took her on picnics and what not, and even spent what little money he had on her (probably getting her hair done...Bonquisha sounds like a girl with a weave). But as you might have guessed...Bonquisha was just a raggedy hoe who only wanted Tyrone because he bought her a couple of packs of Remy hair (100% human) and took her to the movies. So when Bonquisha...with her raggedy ass, takes her hair and leaves...Tyrone is thus transformed into a cold hearted player/pimp type dude who turns his next girl into crazy private detective hiring ass chick. I could easily ask what happened to Bonquisha, besides being named Bonquisha, that turned her into such a dirty hoe. But honestly...who has time for that. So once again I reiterate the fact that ALL girls are crazy and that the prettier they are the crazier they are. The pretty ones have more opportunities with guys and thus more opportunities to have their lives ripped to tiny little shreds. Girls..ok...WE are so freaking crazy because someone (a guy who shall remain nameless) made us this way. And maybe that guy was crazy because some chick ruined his life and credit before he ever met us. Its like a never ending saga that just goes on and on forever. So all we are really left with is the question...who came first...the pimp or the hoe?
